So it’s been many weeks since the last post and here is another update-
Okay, I’ve been in the background working really hard in getting my shit together. I simply suffered a very bad burnout from everything. Making a game is terribly hard when it comes to not having any balance at all and I don’t have balance. This is why I had to stop 2 months ago. On top of that the coincidence of my main computer rig that I’ve been working on my projects on has been showing really bad signs of breaking down. So far it doesn’t let me even work on anything after a 30 minutes that’s been turned on. It just started doing that so I decided to unplug and take a step back from using it.
In conjunction to it, I saw it as an opportunity to visit my sister in florida for a couple of days. I never before met my niece up until this trip I made to florida 2 weeks ago. THAT was such a good choice I’ve made. It helped me alleviate the pain I was suffering within. I also had to cancel on the dentist thing until I returned. When I came back though, my brother had already set up an interview with an employer to work in the same shop he’s in. That was 2 weeks ago immediately after I have arrived back to boston. Thus I’m working now…
So in turn, things are working well now but the break has been pulling on me. I’ve been missing on being creative in general. I miss using my main computer for that stuff.
Another good news is that right after I started working, a co-worker volunteered to help me get my computer back in order! So stay tuned for that! In the meantime right now I’m trying just to get money to pay the bills. I’m thankful and feel very fortunate to have family members that are helping me get my shit together. Before all of this I really felt like ending my life because I simply already saw that there was nothing more to look forward. Everything now is basically dying anyways, as I felt overwhelmed by it. Seeing things end really hits me to the core, even having to know a friend of mine has cancer makes me tear up, but I’m thankful that my love ones really show me there is more to see in life. Seeing my niece helped in that aspect to see that there is a future worth being there. Sadness fills me to know that ends are inevitable but all I really wanted to see is to see new beginnings that helps create new motivation going forward.
Now the plans-
You can view this video I posted a month ago that explains a bit of my plans or just continue below-
My plans consist of going through all aspects of my 10 year goals. Basically I’m starting over again after my fallout earlier this year with the crypto market. I’m gonna focus on getting money to get the gear first. That will take 3 months, and currently I’m in the 3rd week of executing that plan. It might actually take longer because of all the shit I have to deal with in my life but I calculate that at the end of the 3 months I’ll have all the gear ready for content creation.
I started building new content already with the limitations I have now, but it won’t be ready until I get a new hard drive for my laptop. I’m currently running on 5 ~ 3GB of hard drive memory for my apps to run on. Those who do video editing know that isn’t enough to work. That means it will take longer to produce stuff even at a lower quality setting to post on youtube. As for re-doing my 3 main websites, Mariolegend.com, Valeriuslegend.com, and GerardoLegend.com, the latter of the 3 I have finished, which was done 2 months ago (I’m talking about this site). The next 2 I’ll work on later in the fall once I get content worked on first for the youtube channels.
As for my youtube channels, described in the video, I have a strategy I’ll be executing that is gonna be fun to do once I create the key element needed for it to make that spark. That is my avatar. It’s halfway done but thanks to my main rig breaking on me, just when I was going to rig the character with special bones and make a facial controller for face gestures, the damn thing goes haywire on me.
I can continue the work on my laptop though, but I first require the new hard drive. One character takes 2GB of memory of space, and it isn’t the only thing I will be making either. I have other characters I’m planning to make in conjunction, even the alternate versions of the main avatar. Textures take a whole bunch of space too.
With all of this I need electricity. So working now a full time shift this coming week in which I’ll be earning the money to pay the bills.
As time goes, I’ll have the full list of things I need to use. I also want to do just experimental animated videos again. I really miss doing one offs. I also am planning to upload old VHS works I’ve made in the past too, if they are in good standing (I made an hour long stop motion animation back in 1998 that the world still need to see before it’s lost forever).
Yeah, so I you see I’ve been feeling that creative itch again. I just need time and patience and to chill the fuck out from the burnout. Gamedev will resume shortly after I get what I need.
DARK ZETA game I’ll start again working on it either in 2 months or around the winter season once I can get my main rig working again. No promises though, because I still need a load of time to get the money so I can pay for help in making it too. I have 2 wonderful individuals waiting in the sidelines, and I can’t disappoint them. Primarily I’m always thinking of them while I’m at my job. Thinking of them actually motivates me to do what I need to do at the present time. There are also so many different factors that adds up to a positive view going forward. Even taking a trip to Colombia as well. The world is waiting for me…
Shoutout to a wonderful mutual friend – Shawna Allison. In dark times she has been there to snap me back as well. I got so many friends that care. The noise loves to put a veil over but In reflection, I feel that I can ease out the noise when I feel the beat of life before me. That is you my friend, the one reading this. Thank you for reading.
Until next time-
PS: Soon, once I get that essential 4TB hard drive, I’ll drop the video covering this update with more detail.